May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
