I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
