Sry I called you an 8
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
