Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Randomize
