you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
