foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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