I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
