12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
