so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
