you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
