Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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