I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i think my cat just said my name.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
