I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
