I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
