I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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