She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
