I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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