don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
