we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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