just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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