Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think my fart just growled at me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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