she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
