why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
