please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
we made out on top of his cat.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
and you fell through a lawn chair
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
