don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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