it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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