Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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