So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize