I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
