Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
