Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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