At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
