I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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