Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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