Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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