Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
