My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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