think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
