My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
