from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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