I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
