Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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