My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
