I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I want to be your penis for a week.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
