Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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