If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
