I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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