Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
