You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
