I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Randomize
