I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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