Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
