Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
