My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Randomize