ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
