morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
