I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
