I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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