Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize