Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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