That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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