Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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