No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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