whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My breasts were aching with rage.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
