So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
