I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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