why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Jerry, you need to find god
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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