Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
