I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
