I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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