Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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