i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize