I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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